Pre-Dawn Possibility Revisited

Last night I went to the final performance of the revival of Mart Crowley's 'The Boys In The Band.'

Until 6 months ago, I had not seen the film, and had no understanding of the plays role in gay history. My friends Guy and Mark are responsible for correcting this wrong.

In the summer of 1968 when this play was off Broadway, I was just forming in my mother's womb. I ask you, how is it possible that I can watch each and every one of these 9 characters and see a piece of myself?

I bring myself up to speed pretty quickly when I discover a gaping whole. Once I saw the film, I found the play to read, and soon heard that a revival would be opening this winter.

What I didn't figure in to the experience, was that I'd be watching the play while Mart Crowley was in the room. It made the experience matter all the more. Afterwards, as the audience walked out of the loft, which took the place of a conventional theater, I noticed Mr. Crowley was still in the room. I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to thanking him for the work. And so I did. He was gracious. Gave me his full attention. And because I have future MARK readers' best interest at heart - I asked if he'd sit down with me this summer for an interview. HIs answer, "Yes."

Tony Kushner wrote an introduction for the 40th Anniversary of the play - and he describes the play beautifully.

"The play is like an egg about to hatch: there's a gleaming surface, there are sudden cracks; there's a wobbling motion and a rolling about; there's a life-or-death struggle going on, under the shell. The thing inside wants out. Birth moments aren't pretty, birth is hard, and birth is bloody. This is crucially a play about birth."

"What the play captures is how disconcerting, how weird, how awkward and uncomfortable these pre-explosion moments are, when brooding rage and potent but as yet inchoate violence deranges and paralyzes those who have not yet found agency, whose souls and psyches are straining with abrasive, enervating tension toward release."

I'm reminded of a line in a Rufus Wainwright song, "So please, be kind, if I'm a mess."

Watching the play now, its a good thing to remember. It's too easy to lose patience with them. Wanting them to be less angry. Less cruel. Less desperate. And to be more courageous. More at peace. More joyful.

That's OUR work. Taking all that we've learned to be true in the years since then, and making a full, happy life with those truths. The world is ours.