Pre-Dawn Possibility Revisited

Last night I went to the final performance of the revival of Mart Crowley's 'The Boys In The Band.'

Until 6 months ago, I had not seen the film, and had no understanding of the plays role in gay history. My friends Guy and Mark are responsible for correcting this wrong.

In the summer of 1968 when this play was off Broadway, I was just forming in my mother's womb. I ask you, how is it possible that I can watch each and every one of these 9 characters and see a piece of myself?

I bring myself up to speed pretty quickly when I discover a gaping whole. Once I saw the film, I found the play to read, and soon heard that a revival would be opening this winter.

What I didn't figure in to the experience, was that I'd be watching the play while Mart Crowley was in the room. It made the experience matter all the more. Afterwards, as the audience walked out of the loft, which took the place of a conventional theater, I noticed Mr. Crowley was still in the room. I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to thanking him for the work. And so I did. He was gracious. Gave me his full attention. And because I have future MARK readers' best interest at heart - I asked if he'd sit down with me this summer for an interview. HIs answer, "Yes."

Tony Kushner wrote an introduction for the 40th Anniversary of the play - and he describes the play beautifully.

"The play is like an egg about to hatch: there's a gleaming surface, there are sudden cracks; there's a wobbling motion and a rolling about; there's a life-or-death struggle going on, under the shell. The thing inside wants out. Birth moments aren't pretty, birth is hard, and birth is bloody. This is crucially a play about birth."

"What the play captures is how disconcerting, how weird, how awkward and uncomfortable these pre-explosion moments are, when brooding rage and potent but as yet inchoate violence deranges and paralyzes those who have not yet found agency, whose souls and psyches are straining with abrasive, enervating tension toward release."

I'm reminded of a line in a Rufus Wainwright song, "So please, be kind, if I'm a mess."

Watching the play now, its a good thing to remember. It's too easy to lose patience with them. Wanting them to be less angry. Less cruel. Less desperate. And to be more courageous. More at peace. More joyful.

That's OUR work. Taking all that we've learned to be true in the years since then, and making a full, happy life with those truths. The world is ours.

A Life

I nearly skipped it. But I got the better of myself and rushed over to St. Ann's Warehouse to see if there were tickets available to 'A Life In Three Acts' by Bette Bourne and Mark Ravenhill.

Not only did they have a ticket, but it was $20. A gift. Priceless.

What makes this performance so powerful (apart from a 60 year old walk through one man's history), is while your walking out of St. Ann's you'll swear you hear Bette Bourne say in his deep mischevious voice "and yours?"

Meaning, what does your life story say?

Many of you know that this blog is a place for me to talk about the things I am doing, and try out story ideas for my magazine MARK. This play, and Bette Bourne's life is exactly the type of exploration that MARK is interested in.

Charles Spencer, the critic for the Telegraph in London ended his review of this play by writing:

"What a trouper this self-confessed old queen proves (to be.) He signs solo songs accompanied by nothing more than the tapping of his own feet in which we seem to be listening to the drag equivalent of a battered old bluesman, loses his way in the script and doesn't give a damn about it, and emanates a self knowledge and self-confidence that would be the envy of many who lived more conventional lives. Daring to face the rest of the world in a dress has manifestly made a man of him."

What does it mean to be a man? Bette Bourne in his own personal history explores that for himself. Each of us undertake that journey. The question is - do we conform, or do we come to a deeper understanding of our natures?

Bette Bourne ends an interview with some sage advice, " You're not given anything in this world. You must take it. However you see your freedom, in whatever shape, you must take it."

Watching Bette Bourne I thought, how courageous he is to live a life on his own terms like this. This kind of bravery is what helps define a man, isn't it?

Remember, one more performance of 'A Life In Three Acts' - tomorrow, 4pm at St. Ann's. Tickets remain.

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On The Street

I arrived in New York City in late August 1992. And I was fascinated by what I saw on the street from the second I arrived. Constantly taking pictures of people, and the window displays that caught my eye.

So when I began to notice Bill Cunningham's photos in the New York Times, it was like finding a kindred spirit.

The difference? Bill Cunningham has dedicated his life to taking pictures of what he sees on the street. Day in and day out he can be seen on the corner of 5th Avenue, Bryant Park - or quite frankly, anywhere the action is.

He is 81 years old and to hear him narrate his slide shows, found weekly at nytimes.com, you immediately understand the passion, and joy he brings to his work. Yet, the casualness of his photographs is misleading because it allows you to think that you too could be a Bill Cunningham. And I suppose you could, if you built up that informed eye of the world, understanding in the blink of an eye what matters and what doesn't, along with possessing the rigor and guts it takes to be a street photographer.

Bill Cunningham is the photographer I respect most. His beat is the real world. His modesty is legendary. History will show that his work is as important as Robert Frank, Henri Cartier-Bresson, Avedon, and Penn. All these legends have street photography at the heart of their work.

This week, an 88 minute documentary called Bill Cunningham New York can be seen at MoMA - made by Richard Press. That it was made at all, with Cunningham's permission is a miracle. Perseverance paid off for Richard Press.

I've seen Bill Cunningham many times on the street. And when I do, its with a charge of excitement. "There he is!" And I stand back to watch him in action and see what he is paying attention to.

But my favorite Cunningham moment was when he came in to The House of Cards, where I sometimes moonlight in the West Village. He had asked about a particular greeting card, and wondered if we had multiples of it. We did not. So off he went. Suddenly I noticed we did have more. Looking up the street, I spotted him walking his bike and to my surprise, with another man, who looked to be the same age. I hung back just long enough to watch them talking and smiling. It was a moment of real affection and tenderness. It made me very happy. To see this solitary man who has captured so much for so many - in a moment flipped of the usual. He was like us, just a man on the street with a friend, or lover. Who knew? Its not a moment he may have cared to capture, but I have.

Do not miss this film - it's premiering at MoMA this Wednesday at the NEW DIRECTORS/NEW FILMS series. For tickets go to Bill Cunningham New York.

Bill Cunningham's style of photography will always be central to MARK, we will make it our mission to be on the street capturing gay men going about their lives in the light of day. Thanks Bill, for waking up day after day and having the fortitude and desire to capture what you see.

To hear Bill, go to On The Street

To read David Dunlap's excellent piece in today's Times, go to LENS, Capturing the Elusive Bill Cunningham

Photograph: "From Bill Cunningham New York"

Victory For The American Soul

An accomplishment of historic proportions happened last night - the House voted to pass the health reform bill.

As Paul Krugman said, "fear struck out." He writes a very compelling op-ed in today's Times.

Read here: Krugman, Fear Strikes Out

Painting: Jasper Johns, Flag On Orange Field, 1957

In The Air

It's as though a Pet Shop Boy soundtrack hung in the air today, bringing us to life, and to the streets with a swagger we've been missing all winter long.

Fellows, grab your guy and head to the streets, the parks, the cafes and be a part of the scene.

If you don't have a guy of your own to grab - I can attest, they are out there, wondering the same thing - "Where's my guy? Is today the day?"

Romance and possibility are in the air.

What a scene it is out there. I started in Central Park, made a pit stop at MoMA, shot down to Washington Square Park. The guys are out, sporting new spring fashion. Plaid shirts in fresh colors. Nothing better than a great stripe. Lace up Vans cool as ever. Even spotted white dance shoes. Saw a guy wearing a white t, blue Sperry's, and a stash, sexy. Overall, studied nonchalance ruled the day

What an extraordinary day and leave it to New Yorker's to seize it for all it is. I hope you have too. The best news is - we've just begun.

Photos: Troy Chatterton

Two Takes On 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

With wit and a camera - two vastly different artists shoot holes in the ever sinking ship of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.'

Paul Rudnick, the 52 year old playwright and essayist does it with his usual coy, lacerating, truthful humor. Found in this week's New Yorker, Rudnick makes his point very well through the voice of Marine Corporal Roger T. Sing it sister! (Read Don't Ask Me)

While L.A. based photographer Jeff Sheng, just 29 years old has photographed 17 different closeted service men and women serving in the military and published the photos along with profiles in a book called 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' Each soldier taking the enormous risk of being found out - but felt it was necessary to become visible.

Matt, a 24 year old medic who served two tours in Iraq said this: "Once you are deployed, you live with people in an intimate way. YOu trust them with your life and they become brothers and sisters. I couldn't help thinking that if something happened to me, no one would know who I was. That is not the way I want to leave this world."

After seeing his photograph in Shang's book Matt was "blown away," adding "I became very emotional. After all I had been through....in one instant I could go from War Hero to the The gay soldier that was discharged. How could this be right?"

How could this be right? It wouldn't be right. One gets the feeling that we are nearly there. That some day soon an openly gay young man can choose to join the military, serve his country, communicate with family, friends and the man he loves without fear. He can be the man he wants to be, and has every right to be.

I encourage you to read the New York Times article about Jeff Shang, 'He Asked. They Told.' His photography book "Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is self published and available at dadtbook.com

Relationships, Dating & Sex

Yesterday, MARK scored big time by getting playwright Jason Mitchell to begin working on a column for MARK about navigating our friendships and love lives. I met Jason for the first time yesterday, and as we talked over coffee at Jack's I knew I wanted his point of view for MARK.

I was lucky enough to catch Jason's play The Boys Upstairs last summer at the Fringe Festival. I could tell that it was a play born out of real life experience and that he possessed the ability to plumb our ordinary lives for meaning.

It played to a packed house and the mostly gay audience roared with laughter as we watched his characters search for connection and love. In many ways it was that classic sitcom set up at its best - Lavern & Shirley, Sex and the City, and Wil & Grace - only, The Boys Upstairs focuses on the unique situations of gay men.

Since the creations of magazines - they have always spoken to women about their love lives. These magazines, for better or worse should be credited for getting the dialogue started and helping women talk about what many were to shy to ever speak of.

Magazines for gay men have rarely been courageous or committed enough to jump in and do it in a frank, smart, sexy, witty way. But with the keen eye of Jason Mitchell, MARK will do the exploring for you. We won't pretend to have all the answers - which means we'll be asking a lot of questions and sharing what we find with you!

Look for an upcoming profile on Jason and his work - then in the Summer of 2010 his column, which you won't want to miss.

Photo by Troy Chatterton

Window of Casa Magazine, 8th Ave. & West 12th (BEST mag shop in NYC)

Making Our Mark

Some have asked why this blog is called MARK

MARK because it's guy's name.

MARK because it's about the mark we make in the world.

Last night as I watched the documentary Paris Is Burning, the drag queen Dorian Corey summed up the meaning embedded in MARK perfectly. Here's what she says:

I always had hopes of being a star.

And then I, look... As you get older, you aim a little lower.

And I just say, "Well, yeah, you still might make an impression."

Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world.

Then you think, you've left a mark on the world... if you just get through it... and a few people remember your name, then you left a mark.

You don't have to bend the whole world.

I think it's better to just enjoy it.

Pay your dues...and enjoy it.

If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high... hooray for you."

Paris Is Burning is an extraordinary documentary on 'the ball' scene of New York City in the mid 80's. It is also an exploration of identity and what it means to be gay in a straight world. The search is for realness. To be real.

That is what made Word Is Out (yesterday's post) so moving - it documented the stories of 26 people as they dared to find and create their place in the world - the real world. It was a young man in a meadow that expressed it best. For the longest time he thought he was unable to feel emotion, until:

"And when I fell in love with this guy, it was just...It meant so much to me. It meant I was a real person." To watch and hear him say those words, literally broke my heart. It's all any of us want, right?

The good news is we've come a long way. We continue to make our mark, pave a way in the real world. Proof of that just opened on Broadway last night. Next Fall opened to great reviews, see Ben Brantley's review here, Next Fall.

Photo by Sarah Krulwich for The New York Times

Word Is Out

I had an interesting conversation with John Mhiripiri this afternoon - he's the director at Anthology Film Archives in the East Village. He's responsible for bringing the newly restored Word Is Out to Anthology for its 1 week run in February. 639 people came to see it. A far cry from a 1 week run for Avatar.

When this documentary came out in 1978 it was the first of its kind. Gay men and lesbians had never been seen on film in this way. It would be fascinating to see a contemporary version. Chop! chop! all you film makers with video cameras.

You know, as impressive visually as a film like Avatar is - it couldn't compare in the transformative power of Word Is Out. I walked in one way, emerged another. Watch the trailer here at Word Is Out

Word Is Out will be available on DVD in June 2010. Look out for an interview with John Mhiripiri from the Archive, in late March.

More on Word Is Out - go to NPR's coverage.

Joy In Hot Pink

I didn't need to look far to find the joy.

It can be found night after night on 43rd Street at the The Henry Miller Theater.

What is the source of this joy you ask? Dame Edna Everage and groundbreaking singer Michael Feinstein in their new Broadway show 'All About Me.'

I discovered Dame Edna in the early 90's on the Joan Rivers show and loved her from the start.

And I believe her when she says that she has "healing powers."

Give yourself a jolt of joy right now and watch this clip as Dame Edna and her collaborators talk about their soon to open show. (Click Dame Video)

In the coming weeks, I'll be going to the theater to catch the audience as they leave the theater. Stay tuned!

They'll be spreading the joy until the middle of the summer - so head on down.

For ticket information go to: All About Me

My Better Half

As anyone who reads this blog would know, the Oscars recognized Colin Firth's portrayal of George in 'A Single Man.' I've mentioned this film before.

I thought it would be worth revisiting Tom Ford's interview with Charlie Rose last December.

He gives interesting insights about the film and fulfillment - but its moments when he talks about the word he uses for his lover or how he forgets that he is gay, that fascinate me most.

It's in those candid moments that I'm struck how unusual it is to watch a gay man talking about these sorts of things on tv, much less at the table of Charlie Rose. We need more of this. We need more conversations and it's something I intend to bring to this blog.

I can promise you that no one will forget that Tom Ford is gay when he says the word "absolutely." It's a delicious expression of gayness.

So take a look, it's well worth it and may send you right back to the film. I saw it four times and it only got better with each viewing.

Word to all novelists, film makers, playwrights - let's pickup the narrative where Tom Ford's George left it, and explore the joy.

Click here to watch the interview: Charlie Rose, Tom Ford, December 11, 2009

Photo by Eduard Grau/Weinstein Company

Healing Time

It was a conversation with my friend Duncan over coffee when he told me about his theory called "healing time."

It's no revelation. It's a theory based on common sense. Yet, it deserves serious thought.

His theory came out when he crawled in to bed one night with his partner of 15 + years (they've been together since their early 20's) and cooed, "Aaah, healing time." Rod, under the covers, asked, "what'd you say?"

"Healing time" Duncan repeated, and went on to explain his theory.

Which is this; like most people, we all work hard and life can be stressful - so Duncan sees his time in bed, close to, arms wrapped around, or simply touching one another, as a restorative time. A time of healing. A less cringe worthy word may be - reboot. But that eliminates any sense of romance, doesn't it?

I thought the timing of what he was telling me, rather apt - it coincides with a popular New York Times' piece that came out in the Science Section in late February. Worth the read, click TOUCH) Whether in relationship and experiencing daily intimate connection, or out in the greater world with neighbors, colleagues and friends - touch rewards. The study found that "couples who touch more are reporting more satisfaction in the relationship."

All this talk reminded me of a terrific scene in Tom Ford's film 'A Single Man,' based on Christopher Isherwood's novel. I can't think of anything like it in all in gay cinema. It couldn't be more ordinary - two men, sitting with legs stretched out facing each other in a bay type nook. Both are reading while they listen to something bluesy on the stereo. George teases Jim about reading Breakfast At Tiffany's. They talk about a family visit. Jim tells a story about an incident with their dog and the neighbor girl. Love is declared. A kiss is given. This brief, ordinary snapshot becomes extraordinary - simply because we don't often get to see ourselves portrayed this way.

This is what occurs in a home. This is what occurs in the ordinary life of two human beings. "Healing time" is vital to our very existence. It's one of the ways we are able to survive and face the day.

I was in the east village recently and just ahead of me a guy flopped his arm over the shoulder of his boyfriend and gave him a squeeze, a smile - and off they shot up the sidewalk. Eureka!

Photo by Cain Semrad

The Gay Warrior

Sitting at Jack's coffee shop in the west village an op-ed in the Times caught my eye, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Change' by Merrill A. McPeak, aka grandpa McPeak.

It wasn't long before my blood was boiling. I'll let you read it for yourself (click here, McPeak). But it was his belief that gay men could not be "warriors" that infuriated me, and is flatly ludicrous.

Also ludicrous, is this idea that gay and straight men cannot bond. They can, and they are bonding. McPeak is clearly out of touch with the world as it is now. I admit, that I too am out of touch when it comes to knowing and understanding fully how gay and straight young men in their teens and 20's are bonding and working together. The fact is, they are! Wouldn't it be great to see video of those conversations at schools and universities across the country?

Once I calmed down, I was quite thankful for Mr. McPeak's piece - it caused me to think of the gay man as a warrior. A gay man as fighter. A gay man honorably, heroically, fighting alongside his fellow straight soldiers. A gay man fighting for his country, and able to speak out about his experience. Those are the stories that many people don't want told. For it will be proof that a gay man is every bit a man as a straight man. Then what?

I found this passage in a novel recently, and what struck me was how it could have been written today - yet it was written in 1952 by Christopher Isherwood.

"Of course, I could have gotten out of this whole thing. I could have told the psychiatrist, when I had my medical examination. All you have to do is tell them you're queer, and you're out. I couldn't do that, though. Because what they're claiming is that us queers are unfit for their beautiful pure Army and Navy - when they ought to be glad to have us. The girly ones make wonderful pharmacist's mates, and the rest are just as good fighting men as anybody else."

- The World In The Evening, Christopher Isherwood

My response to this whole debate is "Go see Yank!" It's the greatest thing I've ever seen on stage. Yes, that's right, greatest! It's the best $65 bucks I've ever spent. If you live in the city, waste no time - get your tickets, its been extended for 2 more weeks. The Zellnick brothers have created a gift really, for all gay men. I was honored to experience it. One of the things that makes it so powerful is knowing that it represents a rarely told reality. This is how you can buy tickets, click on YANK!

I also encourage you to get a copy of Coming Out Under Fire by Allan Berube. Michael Musto turned me on to it in his Village Voice column this week. "A wonderfully informative collection of reminiscences by gay WWII vets, homosexual pairings in the wartime military went on in every situation and reflected every imaginable attitude toward sex, love, war, and soldiering; the risks gay men braved were as harrowing as the punishment they faced if caught." Thanks Michael! See his column here, Musto.

Lastly I leave you with Nathaniel Frank's response in the Times to Merrill A. McPeak's op-ed.

Gen. Merrill A. McPeak tries to shift the focus of the gay troops debate to its weaker talking points, while ignoring the wealth of actual evidence about openly gay service. Shockingly, he claims that others have “avoided a discussion of unit cohesion,” while he himself fails to address a single one of the dozens of studies that show no link between openly gay service and impaired cohesion.

“I believe repealing ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ will weaken the warrior culture,” he writes, offering no greater basis for this belief than the fact that 17 years ago he and other military brass “concluded that allowing open homosexuality in the ranks would probably damage the cohesiveness of our combat units.”

Yet as an article published by the office of the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff concludes, “there is no scientific evidence to support the claim that unit cohesion will be negatively affected if homosexuals serve openly.” And the best evidence that openly gay service works is that a majority of troops say they already believe there are gays in their units.

This is not about unit cohesion, but about the personal intolerance of a generation of military officers who refuse to accept that the world has changed, and so has their beloved institution.

Nathaniel Frank

Brooklyn, March 5, 2010

The writer is a senior research fellow with the Palm Center, University of California, Santa Barbara, and the author of “Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America.”

The Power of Two

Went to The Temperamentals last night and got myself an eye opening history lesson.

You may ask - "who wants to go to the theater for a history lesson?" When a play is this revelatory, this well acted, and this entertaining - let class begin!

I remember reading John McCullough's 'John Adams' and coming out the other side thinking "if John and Abigail had not fallen in love - we would not be living in the America we know now." Simple as that.

So, seeing last nights play by Jon Marans I learned that gay men have Harry Hay and Rudi Gernreich to thank for the freedoms we enjoy now. Had they not met, had they not fallen in love - our reality would be different.

Gus Van Sant and Dustin Lance Black made their case for the power of two and the power of a group, with the film MILK Think about it - had Harvey not ran in to Scott Smith in the New York City subway - he might never had set off for San Francisco and agent for change he became. In fact, I'm sure of it. Remember this? Oscar for Harvey

America has Barack Obama's mother Ann Dunham and Barack Hussein Obama, SR to thank - both dreamers, both dared to love in an unconventional way, and look where we are because of them.

Go see The Temperamentals (NYT's review), and ask yourself who the revolutionaries are today. Maybe you.

Nation's Capital Makes 5!

6am yesterday. Cold, wet, and still very much winter in our Nation's Capital. Yet, outside the City Courthouse was a line of couples waiting to apply for a marriage license.

By days end, 140 couples had filed to be married.

I'm thinking of all the years waited by some couples, for this day to arrive, to seal their love.

I'm thinking of the young lovers. No waiting. This is just their stroke of good fortune to be born in times where they too can marry, and get on with living life.

I'm thinking of the wave of families sharing the good news, celebrations being planned, cakes being ordered, suits being chosen, and honey moon locations being dreamed of.

Arriving at this day is due to those with the will to fight for equality. It requires the capacity to have difficult conversations that make progress like this possible.

The Washington Post published a piece by Pastor Brian D. McLaren today worth reading - its the kind of council that might have been helpful to Adam and Luke in the play Next Fall.

Click to On Faith.

Photo: Alex Wong for the New York Times

Love Is A Leap of Faith

Some of you have asked for ticket information to Next Fall - and a brief synopsis. Click on to Next Fall.

The play is about two men, an atheist and a committed Christian, their worlds collide - family, love and belief are all explored.

I saw the play last summer when it was off Broadway and New York Times critic Ben Brantley summed it up powerfully in his review:

The characters, "like all of us, contain multitudes of contradictions, which in this case somehow manage to click into a shaky but wonderful symbiosis. Love, after all, is every bit as preposterous, subjective and inexplicable as faith itself."

This is a play to take mom, dad, brothers and sisters - hell, take everyone you care about.

Tip: Afterward, go to Sardi's for drinks and dinner. You'll have plenty to talk about. It's 30 seconds away from The Helen Hayes Theater.

Photo: Sara Krulwich for The New York Times

Gay Theater in New York City

Caught Andrew (left), and Ben before they went in to Sunday's matinee. I asked if they hoped to discover something new about life when going to the theater - a resounding "Yeah!"

I'll be returning to Next Fall over the next few weeks and speaking to more guys as they go in and out of theater and clocking their thoughts about the play.

This is the great hope of theater isn't it? That we arrive one way and depart changed.